The Road Just Got Really Bumpy

In 2016 only 17% of the women labor force were 45-54 years of age. This estimate for the same age range is flat for the year 2024. What is interesting is that 5% of the women workforce is aged 65+ and is estimated to grow to 8.1% in 2024, a 47% increase in 8 years! With the current US healthcare crises and employers not hiring and/or getting rid of seasoned professionals, this paints a dreary picture for most of the population. So why are employers not hiring and/or getting rid of seasoned professionals?

In a Harvard Business Review article, it is suggested that there seem to be two reasons with regard to older women in the workforce: Age discrimination and society’s focus on the physical appearance of women. I would add a third suggestion, that being health care: the cost, and the perceived cost as the middle-aged employee continues to age. And, as we all know, shit happens as you get older. This is all very sad and scary for those of us in our middle-years, but also for employers who are focusing their recruiting efforts on younger employees and in-turn are missing out on hiring a person who has seasoned skills, a mature attitude towards work and a work-ethic that has been honed over the years.

I have worked since the age of 12. Yes, 12! (That’s me in the picture working on my typing at the age of 7.) I worked in my mother’s answering service, answering phones and doing other odd jobs that needed to be done. I didn’t go to college but was paying my own bills by the age of 17. I started my advertising career as a receptionist for a major magazine. Through the years and a lot of hard work and perseverance, I had climbed from a receptionist to working in sales for one of the most successful and prestigious companies in the world. I had made it! All my hard work had paid off…and I hated it! It was amazing to me that I had worked so hard to get myself to the top of the “ladder” only to find I really didn’t want to be there. But what do you do? Well, the decision was made for me when that company years later laid-off many people, me included. I then went to work for another company in sales because that is what I needed to do to pay the mortgage and put food on the table.  I was offered an opportunity within that company to step out of my comfort zone and take on a different role, one in which I defined and refined for over 7 years. I enjoyed my work tremendously, loved the company I worked for and then I was laid-off last week.

Now, here I am a 53 year-old single mother with a teenage daughter at home. I now have to reenter the workforce where I’m competing with Millennials and younger women and men who will be looked upon more favorably then myself strictly because of my age.

This is a daunting situation that I’m trying to come to grips with. There is a bit of a war going on inside me. I have the one side that is devastated, hurt, scared and overwhelmed at the task at hand. Then there is the other side that is hopeful and wanting to explore new things, shake up my life, and do something completely different. I am trying very hard to stay positive and keep saying the mantras “all will be well”, “everything happens for a reason”, “One door shuts and another opens.”

In my research I have found a bit of a light at the end of the tunnel: Olderpreneur. I think that term will end up in an online urban dictionary sooner than later. In the Financial Times article Over 50s Are The New Business Start-Up Generation they discuss the very issues that are plaguing myself and those of my generation. It outlines how they are using their 401Ks (you can now access them at age 55) or borrowing against them to start their own businesses. This is something that interests me and allows the positive side of my inner war to do a little dance.

Until my next post, here is my advice to those of you in your 20s or 30s or even 40s: SAVE YOUR MONEY! Put as much as you can into your 401K, savings, etc.

 

 

 

There are Some Walks You Have to Take Alone

Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote the quote ‘Nothing Can Bring You Peace But Yourself.’ He was a man ahead of his time, for he believed that all things were connected to God and therefore divine. A notion during the 1800’s that was a bit radical; today it would be embraced by many.

I saw this quote recently and it’s timely appearance made me think about my current circumstances for I believe that this is my next, and quite possibly, my hardest life lesson to learn. I was with my husband for over 23 years and after that I had a boyfriend for 5, but that is over now and I am without a partner.

I remember a conversation I had with my dear friend Channy when my husband and I broke up and I immediately went online to find a replacement.  She chided me for moving so quickly, telling me to concentrate on other areas of my life. When I told her that I just wasn’t that person, that I didn’t feel whole unless I had a partner in my life, she was astonished. She couldn’t fathom a strong, independent woman such as myself needing a partner to feel fulfilled while at the same time she applauded the fact that I knew myself well enough to be honest about it.

As life does, this has changed. I know at this time in my life that I need to be at peace with myself, by myself.  Just saying this is not going to make it happen of course, there is work to be done. I have that part of myself that feels like a total failure in my relationships. I have other parts of me that go to war with that feeling, pushing it down and telling it to go away. However, I believe that I must embrace that feeling, comfort it and say, ‘why yes, in some ways you did fail, but what did you learn?’ I’m still working on that, and will continue to do so, and that is why I’m choosing to be alone and find peace with myself for the first time in many decades.

I’m changing things in my life so that I can learn to love myself by myself. I’m doing that by embracing my metaphysical side and doing daily meditations. I’m also working out, but this time not just for my weight and trying to look my best for someone else, but for me and my overall health. I’m taking classes in things that interest me and enlighten me. I’m taking the moments when I’m sitting alone on the couch watching Hell’s Kitchen and not having anyone to laugh at Chef Ramsey with in stride, trying to enjoy that laughter with myself. It’s going to be an interesting journey and I look forward to learning more about me and enjoying what I learn.

Until next time, enjoy your alone moments to their fullest.


Recipe of the Day – Zucchini Pasta 

There is no pasta in this recipe!  Yep, Zucchini is the pasta and it’s AMAZING!  But first things first, go out and buy yourself a Spiral Vegetable Slicer

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You can get this on Amazon (I found mine at Home Goods for $29)

Ingredients

  • 3 large zucchini
  • 1 yellow bell pepper
  • 1/2 onion chopped
  • 6 cloves of garlic chopped
  • 2 cup of chicken broth
  • 2 TBS butter
  • 1 TBS olive oil
  • 2 Tsp: Salt, Lemon Pepper, Cumin (combine and make two portions)
  • Parmesan Cheese (shaved is best, but any will do)

-Clean and cut bell pepper into 4 large pieces, rub with olive oil and salt/pepper to taste.

-Put bell pepper on a cookie sheet and bake at a 400 degree oven for 35 minutes (until brown on edges and soft)

-While the bell pepper is cooking, using a potato peeler take the dark green skin off of the zucchini and cut off both ends

-Put a plate on the end of the spiral maker so your zucchini goes on to it when when making your ‘pasta’

-In a saute pan, put in 1 TBS of butter and saute your onions and garlic with half the seasoning until cooked through and set aside

-When your bell pepper is done, put into a blender with the cooked onions and garlic and 1/2 cup of chicken broth and the rest of the seasoning and puree until smooth

-In a wok or big skillet put in your sauce and the rest of the chicken broth 1 TBS of butter and heat

-Once the sauce is heated put in your zucchini and cook until tender (not mushy)

-Once cooked (yes, test it!) top with Parmesan Cheese

In the pot (you can see that I didn’t take off all the green skin my first time around, it wasn’t bad, but better with it off)

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On the Plate

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(with roasted potatoes and pork chop…yum!)

Connections

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The other night I was sitting in bed writing, in an actual book, with an actual pen, no phone or computer in sight. Sounds crazy right?  In my musings I wrote ‘The more we connect through technology, the more we disconnect from humanity.”  I do believe there is a lot of truth in this.  As technology gets more advanced (I mean we do have the Apple iWatch now), the more we are going to connect through a device rather than with each other.

I’m sure you’ve all seen these scenarios:  A table at a restaurant with a bunch of people who all have their heads down over their phones.  They are not interacting with each other, they are interacting with their devices.  How about this one: you are walking down the street and you see someone, again head down looking at their device, and they are so enthralled that were you not paying attention they would have ran right into you?  This is happening more and more, and I think that it’s making us less human.

I’m not saying throw your smartphone away and unplug your computer for life, what I’m suggesting is a balance.  I read an article today about a woman who put her phone away whenever she was around any other person for a week.  She only took it out when she was alone.  This was a policy a co-worker of hers had and she decided to adopt it to see what would happen.  You can read the article at the link given, but basically people interacted with her more because her nose wasn’t in her phone; they smiled more, asked more questions, and she was happier for it.

There are a lot of great things about technology: I can keep up with friends through social media that I don’t really hang out with, but still care about.  I can video chat with my daughter when she is traveling.  I can connect to new people through an online service and discover new things and make new friends. I can write a blog and reach people and hopefully give them a smile.  I just believe it’s important to connect in real life as well, because technology will never be able to replace a hug, and hugs are important.

My challenge to you:  For one day do not use any mobile device when you are around people, only when you are alone and see if it makes a difference.  If you live through the day, try it again the next day and so on.  I would love to hear how it goes, so leave me a comment, and I will write about your experiments in another post.

Until next time…make some real connections.

Recipe of the Day:  Vege Pasta

Ingredients for Sauce:

-12 Cloves of Garlic

-1 Red Bell Pepper

-1 Onion

-1 small head of cauliflower (cut up in flowerettes)

-1 large yellow squash

-1/4 cup of olive oil

-1 TBS salt

-2 TSP of Lemon Pepper

-1 TSP of dried oregano

-1 TSP of dried basil

>Preheat oven to 375

>Chop all vegetables into large pieces and put in a large bowl

>Include Olive Oil, Salt, Lemon Pepper, Oregano, Basil in the bowl with veges and coat well.

>On a cookies sheet or shallow pan pour the veges out and make sure they are flat and separated and cook for 1 hour in the oven

>When veges are done put into a food processor and puree while streaming in 1/2 cup of olive oil until the sauce is smooth

>Transfer sauce into a saucepan and add:

-2 TBS Butter

-1/2 TSP of pepper flakes

-2 TSP of salt

-2 TSP of Lemon Pepper

-2 TSP of Oregano

(taste after it cooks on low for 10 minutes, and adjust seasoning to your liking)

>While sauce cooks on low, make your pasta

>When pasta is done mix with sauce and sprinkle shaved Parmesan on top

And this is what you get:

In the Pot

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On the Plate

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