friends – On the Road to 60

Black, White or Grey?

Have you ever been told something about yourself from a friend or family member that you instantly dismissed as untrue? But then you started thinking about it and were astonished to discover it was indeed true? Or have you ever discovered something about yourself that you hadn’t realized was a part of your true nature? Something like that just happened to me and I was a bit shocked.

I had my numerology chart done in a new class I’m starting that is set up to help me align my life and soul so I can lead my greatest life. This will be done through numerology and astrological charts, Tarot, soul healing and some other metaphysical endeavors. The first step is understanding my chart and what my numbers add up to. It was said under my life path number: ‘You tend to be very black and white, you are direct, you say what you mean and mean what you say.’ Now, the second part is absolutely spot-on, however I got caught up on the ‘you tend to be very black and white’ portion.

I have always considered myself a very ‘grey area’ sort of person. My beliefs are my own and they are definitely out of the black and white realm and much more of a purple haze. But then I started thinking about examples like UFOs; I’m a firm believer in other species of life elsewhere and here. Now to me that would be a grey area (no pun intended). However, one of my favorite TV shows is Ancient Aliens, where the point of the show is to take historical data and theories and attempt to explain them through the possibility of alien actions. So, am I truly looking at the grey, or am I trying to neatly separate it back into black and white so that I can understand it? I believe that is exactly what I do! My beliefs are very esoteric, but what do I do when I come across something that doesn’t lay neatly in my mind? I do my research so that I can put it in its rightful place of understanding. I was truly amazed at this self revelation, I had never thought about it like that before, but the more I did think, the more I knew it was true.

I did this when I was drawn to the Native American culture. I was told years ago that I was part Native American because my birth-mother told my father it was part of her heritage. I have never known my birth-mother so I latched onto this tiny bit of information and read books upon books about their spiritual culture. Yes, their spiritual culture, because that is always what I’m drawn to. But it wasn’t because I needed to put Native-American spirituality into its neat little box, I needed to put my birth-mother there and this was the only tie to her that I had that I could actually do something about. I should say here that it didn’t help me to understand my birth-mother, but it diverted me for a few years in thinking the harder thoughts about her. It also helped that I was adopted and was able to enjoy a mother and extended family that through the years put her farther away in my thoughts. Over time, I came to the conclusion that I only had one mother, and she did not birth me, she loved and raised me.

I think it’s important to keep an open mind about who we are, and continue to delve into exactly who that is and update our understanding of self to enable growth. We are continuously learning new things, being introduced to new ways of thinking, ideas are constantly being batted around. Every once in a while, we need to stop and look inward and ask ourselves ‘am I the same person I was a year ago? Have my beliefs changed? Have I changed? And if so, how?’ We need to take time to understand ourselves and that takes reflection. Our life journey is our most important adventure and it begins from within.

I have to explain the featured picture. I have decades worth of very old photographs from my great aunt that is from my birth-father’s side of my family. I adored my great aunt, and could not part with all her lovely family photos she so cherished. I have them in an old trunk (that was also hers) I use as a side table and go through them every once in while and find new treasures. I found this one and fell in love with it because of its realism. So many of the pictures that I have of hers from the late 1800’s are very stuffy and posed with no real emotion, unless you look very carefully. This one stood out for the character of the three ladies, who are all very different and enjoying their journey in their own way, heedless of those around them. That’s how life should be, lived as you want to live it without caring who is watching.

Until next time, allow yourself to discover new aspects about your true nature and embrace them.

Recipe of the Day: Butternut Squash Pasta

Ingredients:

2 cups of 1/2 inch diced butternut squash (take skin off, don’t use portion with seeds, probably two small squash or one very large one)
2 large or 4 small shallots thinly sliced
1 cup of chopped Crimini (baby Portabella) mushrooms
3 Tablespoons of fresh chopped sage
4 garlic cloves chopped very small
2 1/2 cups of chicken broth
1/2 pound of penne pasta
2 Tablespoons cup of fresh lemon juice
1/4 cup of sliced almonds
4 TBS of butter
Parmesan Cheese (freshly shaved or grated)
Salt/Pepper (I use lemon pepper)/Cumin to taste
2 Tablespoons of Olive Oil

Cleaning / Cutting the Butternut Squash (picture below just in case you’ve never had it before)

-Use only the portion without the seeds, which will always be in the larger portion of the squash

-It is VERY difficult to peel the squash, it’s better to cut in half then cut the skin off on the sides

-Cut lengthwise into long pieces then chop those into 1/2 inch cubes

Cooking Instructions

-Clean the squash, cut the onions, chop the sage, chop the mushrooms and grate the Parmesan cheese

-Put a pot of water on to boil (add a good tablespoon of salt when it comes to a boil, otherwise your pasta will taste like your pot)

-In a large skillet ad olive oil and heat on medium heat (I use a cast iron skillet, but that’s just me any skillet will do)

-Add your squash and add equal portions of salt/lemon pepper/cumin (about 2 TSP each) Stir until the seasoning is incorporated

-Fry the squash on medium heat, stirring occasionally until it is browned (about 15 minutes)

-Once the squash is browned add the shallots, mushrooms, garlic and sage with 2 TBS of butter and cook until shallots are wilted (about 5 minutes)

-When shallots are cooked through add in the chicken broth and other 2 TBS of butter and cook on medium (bubbling, but not boiling) until sauce is reduced to a nice consistency (about 10 minutes)

-After you’ve put in your chicken broth in the squash mixture, put your penne pasta in your water, this should be done very close to when the sauce is done

-When the pasta is done, add to the squash mixture with a slotted spoon directly from the pot of water (be sure to let the water drain from the slotted spoon before transferring to mixture)

-Stir the pasta into the squash mixture adding the lemon juice and almonds. If it needs a little more sauce (it seems a bit dry) add some pasta water to it.

-At the end, add Parmesan cheese.

On the Plate

There are Some Walks You Have to Take Alone

Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote the quote ‘Nothing Can Bring You Peace But Yourself.’ He was a man ahead of his time, for he believed that all things were connected to God and therefore divine. A notion during the 1800’s that was a bit radical; today it would be embraced by many.

I saw this quote recently and it’s timely appearance made me think about my current circumstances for I believe that this is my next, and quite possibly, my hardest life lesson to learn. I was with my husband for over 23 years and after that I had a boyfriend for 5, but that is over now and I am without a partner.

I remember a conversation I had with my dear friend Channy when my husband and I broke up and I immediately went online to find a replacement. She chided me for moving so quickly, telling me to concentrate on other areas of my life. When I told her that I just wasn’t that person, that I didn’t feel whole unless I had a partner in my life, she was astonished. She couldn’t fathom a strong, independent woman such as myself needing a partner to feel fulfilled while at the same time she applauded the fact that I knew myself well enough to be honest about it.

As life does, this has changed. I know at this time in my life that I need to be at peace with myself, by myself. Just saying this is not going to make it happen of course, there is work to be done. I have that part of myself that feels like a total failure in my relationships. I have other parts of me that go to war with that feeling, pushing it down and telling it to go away. However, I believe that I must embrace that feeling, comfort it and say, ‘why yes, in some ways you did fail, but what did you learn?’ I’m still working on that, and will continue to do so, and that is why I’m choosing to be alone and find peace with myself for the first time in many decades.

I’m changing things in my life so that I can learn to love myself by myself. I’m doing that by embracing my metaphysical side and doing daily meditations. I’m also working out, but this time not just for my weight and trying to look my best for someone else, but for me and my overall health. I’m taking classes in things that interest me and enlighten me. I’m taking the moments when I’m sitting alone on the couch watching Hell’s Kitchen and not having anyone to laugh at Chef Ramsey with in stride, trying to enjoy that laughter with myself. It’s going to be an interesting journey and I look forward to learning more about me and enjoying what I learn.

Until next time, enjoy your alone moments to their fullest.

Recipe of the Day – Zucchini Pasta

There is no pasta in this recipe! Yep, Zucchini is the pasta and it’s AMAZING! But first things first, go out and buy yourself a Spiral Vegetable Slicer

You can get this on Amazon (I found mine at Home Goods for $29)

Ingredients

3 large zucchini
1 yellow bell pepper
1/2 onion chopped
6 cloves of garlic chopped
2 cup of chicken broth
2 TBS butter
1 TBS olive oil
2 Tsp: Salt, Lemon Pepper, Cumin (combine and make two portions)
Parmesan Cheese (shaved is best, but any will do)

-Clean and cut bell pepper into 4 large pieces, rub with olive oil and salt/pepper to taste.

-Put bell pepper on a cookie sheet and bake at a 400 degree oven for 35 minutes (until brown on edges and soft)

-While the bell pepper is cooking, using a potato peeler take the dark green skin off of the zucchini and cut off both ends

-Put a plate on the end of the spiral maker so your zucchini goes on to it when when making your ‘pasta’

-In a saute pan, put in 1 TBS of butter and saute your onions and garlic with half the seasoning until cooked through and set aside

-When your bell pepper is done, put into a blender with the cooked onions and garlic and 1/2 cup of chicken broth and the rest of the seasoning and puree until smooth

-In a wok or big skillet put in your sauce and the rest of the chicken broth 1 TBS of butter and heat

-Once the sauce is heated put in your zucchini and cook until tender (not mushy)

-Once cooked (yes, test it!) top with Parmesan Cheese

In the pot (you can see that I didn’t take off all the green skin my first time around, it wasn’t bad, but better with it off)

On the Plate

(with roasted potatoes and pork chop…yum!)

Change Happens

I was thinking about the old saying ‘The more things change, the more they stay the same.’ And thought: Who came up with this saying, and what did they mean by it? Taking advantage of the fact that I literally have all answers at my fingertips, I looked it up. Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr was the author of the once much quoted saying, which was published in 1849 in Les Guêpes, a satirical toned publication in Paris. It seems Jean-Baptiste was known for his sense of humor and shared it through his writings. So, the saying isn’t a serious, thought-provoking epitaph that one must intellectually dig deeper to understand. It’s a joke, sarcastically saying that ‘the more things change…the more they are going to friggin’ change!

What can we learn from Jean-Baptiste’s wit, other than writing a random quote can be quoted by others not knowing what it means for hundreds of years? Maybe that laughing in the face of change might just be the best way to handle it and make the best of it. We all go through changes that are tough, but if we can enter into those situations with an open and positive heart, don’t we insure that at least part of the outcome of those changes is positive as well? I believe that any positive thought or gesture is never wasted, so I say yes.

Case in point: This Valentine’s Day was the first in many years in which I didn’t have a significant other to share it with. This is a bit tough because I was married on Valentine’s Day, and ever since my split with my husband I’m particularly sensitive on this day of love. This year I was looking at being alone on what would have been my 24^th wedding anniversary. Now, I could cry, I could crawl into bed for the day and just let it pass me by, or just be plain miserable. Or, I could look at this in a positive way and celebrate the day love differently. I chose going positive and decided to spend the weekend with my best buddy Channy and our friend Kelly.

We decided we would spend the long weekend at Kelly’s house which is up in the country. There was quite a bit of driving involved because I had to drop my daughter off at her Father’s house which is two hours away and then drive to Kelly’s. Now, there were some deviations; Kelly was running late, traffic was getting bad and we had to switch up our plans. She decided to pick me up at my house since it was on the way, and then we were in the car for over 3 hours due to said traffic. But, as I said to all in the car ‘We are going to have an awesome weekend, so all this traffic will be worth it!’

Kelly lives by two cute little antique towns and we strolled around in the cold looking for somewhere to eat. After passing many places that were packed, we ended up at a quaint hotel that had a live band of three that played Credence Clearwater and other similar covers that were right up our ally. We sat in the dining room next to the bar and ordered up some yummy “we are not on a diet this weekend’ appetizers, some cocktails and happily munched away while tapping our feet to the music. Channy enjoyed chatting up the singer while he was taking a break, but that’s a whole other story. The next day, Valentine’s Day, we got up at our leisure, ate some leftovers from the night before, and then headed out to see where the day would take us. We ended up at this amazing little place called Pilot Peak Winery. This beautiful piece of heaven up in the hills is family run and because they were so busy that included two 7-year-old adorable grandsons. The family was wonderful and friendly, the wine was very good (bought three bottles) and they also served little appetizers to taste with the wine. It was a beautiful day, good wine, fabulous friends; a great start to our Valentine’s Day. As we were finishing up, the owner asked what we were going to do that night, and we said we would go out and have some dinner somewhere. She looked at us and said ‘It’s going to be packed out there tonight.’ And that’s when it dawned on us that of course it was going to be crazy, what were we thinking? So, we needed to change our plans. Back home we chatted, set the table up with candles and flowers, grilled up a couple of steaks and paired them with some of the tasty wine we had just bought. We ended up having a relaxing evening with great food, better company and a few extra bucks in our wallets. It is probably one of the best Valentine’s Day nights I’ve ever had, and it was just us girls.

It just goes to show you that even when the best laid plans get changed, you can make the best of it. The finest way to do that is to begin on a positive note, see how you can make the best of the change and see where it takes you. You never know, you might end up having one of the best days of your life.

Check Out Pilot Peak Winery: http://www.pilotpeak.com/

Food Tip of the Day: Kelly used olive oil and balsamic vinegar with seasoning on the steaks. I have never used balsamic before on steak but I will in the future, they were awesome!

Wine Tip of the Day: Don’t drink wine out of a glass with a lip on it, it changes the way it tastes.

And Now for Something Completely Different

I was on the phone with my dearest friend the other night and we began an interesting conversation about where we would be in 9 years. Screw the whole cookie cutter “5 years” which you constantly hear when you are starting out in life and asked in every single job interview. When you are our age, 51, you have to look at the even bigger picture because you’re old and your children are no longer young and in 9 years you are going to be 60.

When you are over 51 (When you are 50 you are thinking “that’s ok, 50 is good,” then all of the sudden you are 51 and you’re screaming: “I’m OVER 50!”) This is when your brain starts doing and thinking things you haven’t thought of in over half a century. It’s the mindset of course, you are over 50, so what have you….accomplished? Really, is that what it comes down to? Accomplishment is something you’ve done right, if I’m not mistaken. Which means that you should only look at those things in the last half century of your life that were perfect? If I only had the lessons that life gave me that were based on things that went well, I would have learned very little indeed. One of my greatest life lessons is knowing that my fails, falls and almost accomplishments have made me the person I am today, and will continue to shape who I am.

It is my vision to write this blog every nine days. I will be writing for the purpose of sharing our journey as we approach 60. This should prove to be interesting, as she has two sons, one that is possibly going into the Coast Guard at 20 years old and one that is still figuring out his path at 22. I have a 14 year old daughter that lives with me and is my payback. I don’t say that in a bad way, it’s just my Karma for being a pretty challenging kid. I also have a 23 year old son who cooks for a living in the city, and is so much smarter than I will ever be, its scary. Let’s not even get started that Channy and I are both divorced and I just broke up with my current boyfriend who is moving out in a month. And, that is just the tip of the proverbial ice berg of our lives.

Together, we do have some things to figure out, life challenges to meet head on and who knows what else. It promises to be a bumpy road with lots of switchbacks and precarious bumps. The good part about the next 9 years is that Channy and I will be together through it all, as we have been for the past 2 decades. We will support one another, give each other painful truths, cry on each other’s shoulder and most importantly laugh at it all and move on. Though sometimes, the crying and the laughter get all intermingled, because sometimes when you are crying the hardest, you just have to laugh.